I fixed my hard drive and accidentally started therapy
a very old Instagram photo with our beloved cat Moos, who has passed away in 2013
For a few years I have not been able to figure out why my external hard drive wasn’t showing on my laptop. My laptop is a MacBook Pro from 2009, so it is truly ancient. Right now it’s more a type of typemachine or time travel for videos and photos because even though I can use the internet, most websites won’t (fully) function.
With the harddrive recovery it was not showing anywhere, but via the activity monitor I was able to notice the name for my hard drive. I tried the force quit button and! Suddenly the hard drive showed on my desktop and I was finally able to check my files. I can’t put new things into the hard drive, but I can take files on my desktop so that I can put them into another hard drive for back up.
I found some old voice notes from 2013-2015 which I made during my therapy sessions. As I’m currently going to start trauma therapy, and last year got diagnosed with autism and adhd, a lot of things that I’ve heard in 2 of these sessions suddenly made sense.
One of these things was about me wanting to just be able to function like any other. I’ve heard many times from people that I have a great will to take action and I have many ideas, but somehow I can’t get them out. Now I know, I need lots of body doubling due to AuDHD.
Back then I was basically working against myself, and the past year I’ve been trying to unlearn this mindset and work with what my brain functions best on.
It not easy, I’ve worked really hard to try to take on different mindsets and keep trying. Now I have tried so many different approaches that I find myself a bit cynical about a lot of advices I get from people. People in real life, but also on the internet. I’ve lived a lot of different lifestyles and I’m just tired. So I’m trying to just lean into my brain, and make the best of it.
a photo of my grandparents home
The reason why I wanted try to get my hard drive to show, was because today my grandmother died.. about 6 months ago my grandfather, her husband, died. I wanted to search for photos of her en him for the funeral but also because over the years I’ve been the family photographer and I have lots of good photos of them. So naturally I went through all the photos and videos lol and then all the other files. I thought maybe I have some fun/ good old blog posts that I can repost on my Bear blog, but then I found the voicenotes and after that I was wiped out and went for a drink and cheesecake with my husband and daughter to deal with all the feels 😂
Until next time, Verity Voron 🐦⬛