I thought I was just dreamy
My daughter woke up last night, and although I slept again, I was so tired this morning that I literally couldn’t get out of bed. It feels like my body is in a kind of frozen state — and completely outside of my control.
Over the past year, I’ve been investigating whether this is more than just ‘bad sleep’. Autistic inertia, sleep inertia, hypersomnia and insomnia, these are terms that resonate more and more.
What struck me most: I always thought that I just ‘dreamed away’ during the day because I’m creative and very visually oriented. But what if I really do fall asleep unconsciously? What if this is neurologically explainable, and not ‘just tired’?
I have so many memories of being busy with something during the day (work, conversation, being on the road), and then ‘suddenly’ being somewhere else. That I ‘suddenly’ woke up from a sound or sounds, and was back in reality. It felt like I was teleported to different realities. For a long time I thought ‘oh I just have lucid dreams’, now I think ‘I really need to get this checked out’. Because I can’t afford this anymore, I’m not alone anymore, I have a family life.
This has such an impact on my daily life and parenting. And I want it to be different.
Maybe you recognize yourself in this story. Maybe you also struggle with invisible boundaries that determine your energy.
You are not alone...
#autism #parenting